depressed

yeah so im back to feeling depressed again I guess happiness just doesnt stay around in my life. Im honestly so sick of feeling like this. just not wanting to be around anybody not wanting to tlak to anybody i hate it. im back to the feeling of not wanting to be at home at all as soon as i get here all i want to do is leave just something about being here just makes me depressed. im so tired of being fake and acting like everything is fine when its really not fine at all. the sad part is that i dont even know what im depressed about, i just am and thats what bugs the shit out of me because theres nothing i can do about it. I dont like feeling like this i dont like being unhappy its just not me. I want to like write or something just to get my feelings out but the problem is i dont know what to write about other than just being depressed. im just so fucking sick of all this shit. family i think has had alot to do with it lately just because basically nobody is getting along. grandma is pissed at me cause we goot into an argument and she says i was a smart ass and hung up on me. mom is mad at dad because hes just being a typical asshole non-father that he is. mom and ben piss me off more and more every time i see them. i honestly cannot even being to possibly understand why they are together at all. every thing ben does just drives me more insane. everytime i see him even near mom i just want to like scream at them what the fuck are you guys doing. i mean seriously mom is annoyed by everything that ben does so why are they still together? ugh people! im done ranting i need to go chill out and try to get my mind off wanting to do stupid shit.